Part 19: Welcome to the Hall of Inquisition

Chapter 18: Welcome to the Hall of Inquisition



Take one down, pass it around, 9,993 bottles of mead on the wall...

Seriously, who's singing that? Because the voice sounds like a woman, and she's singing a drinking song, so I'm interested, that's for sure. It sounds like it's coming from that bin...





Oh. Whoever is singing that is inside a totem. Well, that could make romance rather difficult.

Hey! You guys! Down here! In the bin!



Might as well add another crazy person to the posse.



Thanks. When they left me behind in the bin, I thought I was going to be stuck here forever! Oh no. You guys are totems too.

Yeah. We all got squished. What did you do?

I was part of the resistance! You know, the Magic Underground. There's a whole movement in the streets!

Ugh. Well, somebody better clean it up. You can get a pretty stiff fine for that sort of thing.

Flashback time!


Click here to see video of this nice lady's story.









Now that's a rule I can live by.



Heh-heh. And to think you're people once ruled the Empire? Ha-ha-ha! Arrest the Flathead!



Wait, it's not what you think.



Really? What am I thinking?



Hmm, gee, it's hard to tell. There's so much interference coming from your...mustache.





You're out of milk...and, uh, you're pants are chafing you...





And you're going to totemize every magic creature in the Empire.



And here I thought that oppressing the regular folks was enough of a full time job. Busy, busy, busy.



For you I'll make the time. Take her to the totemizer.



What? Over a bit of paint?



Oh, listen, it doesn't matter what you do, telepath. Your species like all magic has been declared extinct. Take her to the totemizer!



What? No rack? No gallows? What kind of loser Inquisition is this?



It's attitude like that that has made the house of Flathead what it is today: Fallen!



Well, that was a lovely story. So, we've got our third totem friend, Lucy Flathead. Anyway, let's take a look around this hall. There's some rather strange displays around here.



Like this one. It looks like some kind of museum display. Let's push the button and find out what it has to say.





Havoc struck Quendor when the Wizard of Froboz, the court Magician of Lord Dimwit Flathead, accidentally Dimwit's famed castle, Flatheadia, into a mountain of fudge.



In one errant stroke of wayward magic, the wizard simultaneously destroyed both the skyline, and the waistline, of the house of Flathead.

I guess that explains where that Flatheadian Fudge came from earlier for the cocoa.

Looking behind me, we have this display.





The history of Zork was rarely a chronological study, until the Inquisition officially sealed the ancient network of time tunnels that runs beneath the Empire. History in Zork now happens but once, and there are, as the Quendorian school children are known to say, no backsies.



I like this display. The little dude moves his hammer back and forth. I wonder what this lever on the side does.





Sweet! It's moving faster now! It seems to be actually hitting that wooden barrier too. I wonder, if I make it a little faster, maybe it'll break that down.





Damn, the head of the hammer broke off. Oh well, at least I broke something, I guess. That's always comforting.





New display time. Let's take a closer look.



In 773 G.U.E., a local civil servant caused unspeakable devastation to the city of Mareilon when he attempted to cast Zimdor, a spell that turns originals into triplicates, and accidentally cast Zimbor, a spell designed to turn one really big city into tiny little ashes.



He reportedly apologized to the city with the words, "Whoops, my bad."

And why don't I have that spell? Well, I guess because I may actually use it.

Turning around, I find this last display.





In the mid-10th century G.U.E., a group of rogue alchemists seeking the fifth element of the Quintessence of Immortality, released a vengeful force known as the Nemesis.



The Nemesis tormented innocents, and a great many less than innocents when innocence could not be located, throughout the Eastland.

Well that one sounds a bit disturbing. Let's go back to looking around.





Well that explains this room a bit more. It's like a display of propaganda against magic.







Time to head through the door, and into...





Ah, I'm on the other side of the fence I saw earlier. Luckily on the other side of the camera here, so it can't see me.





Looks like a display for some sort of communications device for the guards. The top message seems to use three different symbols. The rest seem to use either two symbols, or just one, depending on the message being sent. Could be interesting to mess with if I find it.



Hey, what's this?







Some strange sort of contraption. The symbols here match those on the sign, so this must be...oh wait, it's doing something.







This looks like some sort of wacko communications device the guards here must use. Yannick sure do like his toys, don't he?

Well, let's see what happens if I remove one of the hammers to make a new message. Let's just remove one at random.







Well that doesn't look good.

Geez, I'm sorry kid. Looks like you're on the Inquisitions most wanted list, thanks to me. If it's any consolation I think you're much better looking than the police sketch.





Right, well, let's not remove that left-most hammer, and instead remove the right-most one.







Well that sounds downright dangerous.

Geez, I'm sorry kid. Looks like you're on the Inquisitions most wanted list, thanks to me. If it's any consolation I think you're much better looking than the police sketch.

Hmmm, that sounds familiar. As does this strange whistling noise I hear, getting louder and louder and...





You know, carefully looking at that sign again, I think I've figured out which message I want to send, and which hammer to remove to send it. It's worth a shot, and should at least be safer than just removing hammers at random.







Hmmm. I'd say the Inquisition has way too much time on it's hands.

There we go, that should work nicely.



And now I've got this nifty hammer. Which actually looks like it might fit in that Time Tunnel Display earlier. Let's go back and try it out.







Yup, a perfect fit. Now let's turn this sucker on full speed!





Sweet! It broke down the barrier, and behind it is what looks like an actual time tunnel! That was a bit strange of them, putting a display about the evils of time tunnels in front of a real, genuine one. Oh well, they're stupidity, my gain. Let's open it up with Narwille.





Alright, now it's time to decide who to send through. Let's try Brog first. He seems to be rather affective at breaking things, so I'd say he'd be a good first attack option.









Brog feel funny here. Whoa...body...body! Oh...little body, you came back to Brog. Nice blue body. Brog miss you.



Hmmm, we seem to be in Port Foozle, only before it was all covered in Inquisition posters.



That's Jack's place, only it looks a little different. Let's go knock on the door.







Hello? Hello? Oh very funny guys. Good joke.

Right, I forgot. You're strangely short. Well then this probably isn't going to work. So let's get out of here.





Whee! Heh-heh. Air brog!



Alright Griff, you're up!







Okay, so, I'm looking for some kind of a Coconut, right? Some magic freakin' thingamajig, I don't know.

You're stupidity is as refreshing as always, Griff. You're here because you're tall, go knock on the door.





Oh, I don't know about this. Not so sure this is a good idea.

Once again, too bad you have no control at the moment.





We don't serve your kind here.

Huh, uh, I'm just gonna take that as a no.

Yeah, apparently you're too much of a freak to get in there. Freak. So let's go.



Let's go? Okay, I, um, know when I'm not wanted.

Good to see you can pick up on these things.



Alright Lucy, looks like it's up to you. Let's see if you can charm your way in.











Sweet Yorrick! God, does it feel great to get out and stretch! Look! It's Foozle! Minus a whole lot of barbed wire, and a few red coats running around. I remember these good old days, when we were between Inquisitions.



Alright Lucy, here we go.

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For anyone who wants to see how all this looks in motion:
Video of everything we did this update.

That's all for now! Tune in next time, because it's ladies night at Jack's place!